I am a dreamer by nature. The unusual and seemingly impossible has never scared me, but has lead me to have an even deeper faith. I'm that person that quotes "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON" because I honestly believe in the good and bad situations, there is purpose. If I didn't believe that, I would be a lot more scared and confused. Lately though, waiting has stumped me. Even someone who is as faithful as I am finds myself questioning why I'm still holding out for something when I don't even know what it is.
For years, I had a dream that I built my life around to the point where I didn't believe there was another way of life outside of it. It was extremely disappointing when that dream came crashing down on me recently. It felt like starting over completely. I had already waited years for the opportunity, and then now I'm having to wait even longer while I try to find a new path and dream to chase. That's difficult for a nineteen year old. Trying to reconstruct a life plan when they've literally had the same one for almost ten years. You don't even know a future outside of that hope anymore because that's what your vision of the future has become. Part of me is terrified because I don't even know where to start, and part of me is excited for that very same reason.
Now once I have accepted the fact that that portion of my life is over, I am still left with the question: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF WAITING?
Honestly, I don't think there is a completely correct answer if one at all. All my mind can comprehend is that it's not the right time yet. Something grand is coming that our current selves just aren't prepared for. And that gives me hope somehow. There is something so incredible coming at the end of this that I wouldn't be able to handle the magnitude of it at this point in my journey. That's comforting to me. My God has something worth waiting for. Something worth holding out for.
On Sunday night, our church's youth choir (which myself and my three friends formed) premiered a new medley of songs which included "Even So Come." I led this song, and something about the words touched my soul as I sang. I spoke on how the song was about waiting for the return of our Lord, and not just waiting, but waiting with FAITH and HOPE that He will rescue us from our situations and eventually from this earth. Until the day comes that we're meant to be set free, we will wait with faith. Until the day that He returns to take us home, we will wait with faith. In the song, it simply states "We will wait, we will wait for you. God, we wait, you're coming soon." Such a simple statement, but in the midst of our storms, it can be hard to do.
In conclusion, GOD I WAIT FOR YOU. Though I don't always understand the waiting, I understand there is purpose, and you have one whether I ever know it or not. I will have faith that you are doing what's best for me and setting me up to accomplish your will with my life. Even when I'm scared, confused, lost, and hurt, I will look to you for my answers, and if they haven't came yet, even so I will wait for them because I know they will come. Thank you for all the many dangers you have saved me from experiencing because of the waiting. Thank you for the pain you spared me of that would have came to be if I had been impatient. Thank you for holding out for me because you want me to have the very best even when I don't deserve it. Thank you for being my God and being right beside me in my waiting. Thank you for the waiting, and thank you for the joy I'll have when the wait in finally over.
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